IC Contact

[rassera]

"Oi, it's me. Leave something here, would ya?"

Text | Audio | Video | Action

Comments

october 3

[deadtective]

[this catchall thing is actually a good idea I'm stealing it from you]

[deadtective]

[this text comes in pretty early, like 'shower-quality thoughts while watching the sunrise' sort of early. whoever she's sending this to must be pretty familiar, considering her language.]

How do you trick an AI into going to a corn maze with you? He can't know I'm doing it, we're not friends.


And no, you asshole, this isn't the lead-in to a joke. I need help brainstorming.

[rassera]

[Thankfully Kaneda was up, although he was mid-breakfast, eating a slice of the giant cake Bull had gotten him.

Chewing slows as he reads.

Before texting back.]

where the hell did you find a corn maze

[because THATS the weirdest thing about this.]

[deadtective]

It's fall in America, man, they're fucking everywhere. Now focus!!

[she doesn't realize that she's got the wrong person yet, the response and typing style is close enough to Josuke's that there doesn't appear to be anything wrong.]

[rassera]

what even is it

dont tell me americans really make that


dont they have better things to do

[Sorry Hazel, he's focusing on this for one more second.]

its a robot right cant you just program it

[deadtective]

He's not a robot, he's an AI. There's a difference.

[a difference that Hazel literally never respects when she's actually talking to Magicman. what a difference his inability to see her conversations makes!!]

But christ, if you're so baffled by them you can just fucking come too. Maybe he won't notice where we're going if it's in a group.

[rassera]

[Oh no what is he getting into WHO EVEN ARE YOU.]

sorry im busy

doing



a thing

[deadtective]

Oh man, did I catch you during your stupid hairstyling epic? I'm surprised you can even text back considered how much hair gel your hands must be caked in right now.

[rassera]

im eating cake actually


who even are you

[deadtective]

What the fuck Josuke, have you got someone texting for you while you do your hair? And you're bribing them with cake?

[rassera]

josuke


this is kaneda

[HONESTLY HAZEL HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL?! OVER TEXT?!]

[deadtective]

Ok, well, assuming that's actually true and it's not just him being sore as fuck over the arcade shit...

You really shouldn't go through people's texts when they lose their comms. It's how you get screechy bitches like me on your case for the rest of your life.

[rassera]

you think i took his comm

hate to break it to you but this ones on you



am i still invited on your group date

[deadtective]

NOT AFTER YOU CALLED IT A FUCKING DATE YOU'RE NOT

[what sorry was there more to his reply she couldn't see it over her rage]

[deadtective]

[and then, a little later in the day...]

So the lawn flamethrower's kind of up in the air right now, but I'm definitely getting that tiny hoverboard. I was thinking of maybe when I drain the pool for fall of building a mini skatepark for him in it?

I mean, it can't be that difficult, right? The worst thing that happens is I flood a neighbor, and I think the house on my right's fucking empty anyway. Be less of a pain in the ass than switching the garden over to fall in this bitch Florida weather.

[rassera]

[What even is this girl...]

kaneda again

am i just that popular with you



whos the skatepark for

[deadtective]

[a miracle of modern magic, that's what.]

STOP ANSWERING THESE




It's for my owl. He's getting a hoverboard so he can do sick tricks in literal midair.

[rassera]

[CAN'T STOP YOU'RE TOO EASY, HAZEL.]






i want to see that right the hell now

[deadtective]

You have given me absolutely no reason to go to the effort of putting his skate gear on and filming it.

[at least say please, you little fuck]

[rassera]

do you need a reason to get an owl on a hoverboard

[Sorry he never says please!! Or sorry.]

[deadtective]

I don't have the hoverboard yet, just his regular one. It's still being built.

[then you're gonna have to coax her a little better!!]

[rassera]

then the regular one

unless you doubt the owls talents

[deadtective]

Sit your ass down.

[and there's maybe five minutes between that and her next reply, which is video! amazing!

...well, it'd be amazing if it were actually of her, but it's not. instead it shows an empty hallway which quickly becomes not so empty as a snowy owl decked out in a tiny backwards cap and gold chains comes barreling down it, expertly handling the skateboard it rides on. it shoots past the camera, turns at the end, and then does a sick kickflip before riding out of sight,

NEVER DOUBT THE POWER OF THE OWL]

[rassera]

...

[it's so good this turned to video because this is the exact face you're seeing, Hazel. That certainly was...an owl on a skateboard.



Shit.]





Shit.

[deadtective]

[Hazel keeps the video shooting the empty hallway rather than turning it to show herself, but you can feel the smug pride radiating from her voice. that expression of his is going to be treasured in her memory forever.]

Yeah, that's what I thought.