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Tetsuo!

[He said don't even think about it!]

[Before, usually, no amount of shouting would ever change his mind once he'd picked the flight option. You could yell yourself hoarse to his vanishing silhouette, and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference. The most he'd plan to do is pause before heading away.

This time?

His hand reaches for the door, and stops when Kaneda calls him, dropping to his side. The usual pause ends, and this time he turns back around.]

...

[His heart freezes when he sees that hand reaching for the door, only thawing when it draws away. To be honest, that's...that's a huge thing for him, and it shows in how his eyes soften.

He knows more about what that powers doing to Tetsuo than he wants to admit...but it's not fair to keep it from him. With a bite of his lip, he stands up.]

Those things the government put in us...I think they're what's keeping you together.

['What do you know' instantly comes to mind, but that answer comes immediately after. Tetsuo assumes, for better or for worse, that he does know exactly what Kaneda means by 'together'. There's no need to pursue it farther. What happens here has to be like what happens back home, if his powers are the same. Maybe Kaneda doesn't get it?

...he shakes his head. He's being broken apart, Kururu had said. Confirmation it's not all just him.]

I don't.

[But then he thinks about it. How Kaneda was still just one year older than he was, through some bizarre twist of time, but had no idea if he was dead or alive. How Tetsuo had jumped ahead a few months he didn't remember at all by the calendar here, and only because of that did he turn sixteen so soon after getting here. The realization that he's on the edge of understanding something makes an immediate and visible change; his eyes widen after that pause, finding Kaneda's.

Does he mean... it's slowing this ...whatever is happening to him down...?]

...

[But he can't find the voice to ask that question.]

[Tetsuo's silence says a lot. That Kaneda has to be more open with this kind of stuff. Sure, he didn't know the specifics about how psychics work...but Kei had explained a lot--Kiyoko even more. He can at least share what he knows.]

It's like I said, you know? It's a lot for someone to handle. Anyone...not just you.

['Not just you'. He threads that sentence through his mind again, listening to it again for some hidden catch. When he doesn't find one, he moves a little away from the door to lean against the wall, giving the wall to Kaneda's room a brief glance. It was empty right now, right?

For certain, no one listening in.]

Anyone?

[He's not sure that Kaneda's not just saying that, but he's listening.]

What's that supposed to mean?

...

[There's a soft exhale.]

Back home...you weren't the only psychic.

...

[Kaneda's got his complete and total attention. He looks down, thinking it over. It's bugging him - something he's not catching! Something he's not remembering fully...

Wait. No, he's got a vague idea.]

That name...

[.... though it could just have easily been a dream or some belated fabrication he only thinks he remembers... agh, it's all mixed up by now.]

[It's Kaneda's turn to get up, pacing nervously as he tries to figure out a way to explain this. It's not unlike how Kei paced their cell, trying to figure things out for herself. She was so much better at this than he was...

And for a split second, he missed her terribly. She'd know just what to do.]

That kid...the one you got into an accident with.

You ever think it's strange, how he wasn't even hurt?

He did something... didn't see...

[... but he knows what, doesn't he? Even as he gives the only answer he knew at the time, hindsight fills in a piece of that puzzle.]

No, that's not it! He blew up my bike before I even hit him!

[He knew Tetsuo would put the pieces together, and he rubs the back of his neck to decide how to proceed with this. It's not easy.]

Cause he's like you.

He's not like me!

[The reaction is immediate, and more than a little defensive.]

There was something wrong with him... I think. Something... [He raises a hand to rub at his head. Was he making that up? Was that real?] Can't even tell anymore.

Something...?

[His head tilts trying to make sense of it.]

You mean...like his skin?

...

[Sometimes, it's worse to get something like that even remotely validated.]

Must've been the light, I guess...

...

[Kaneda falls silent, turning his head towards the window to look out at the roads below.]

And...white hair.

What. You saw it like that, too? He really was like that?!

Yeah.

[His answer is short, clipped.]

It's what happens. It's what's--[He swallows hard, his voice hitching right in the middle of it.] happening

...No. I don't believe that-

[He can't back up a step, though his foot thumps against the wall in the attempt anyway. Right now, he'd give anything to be out of this room. Away from this reality Kaneda's suggesting. Just... something to run from, somewhere to run to, it doesn't matter. He doesn't want this.]

You saying I'm gonna end up like that kid?! Is that it?! Kaneda?!

Maybe.

[His voice is calm...contemplative, even.] Eventually somewhere.

[You're not making sense, Kaneda. It's rare to see him so pensive, eyes continuing to look out the window as the street lights flicker below in the midnight air.]

That's what you're feeling, I think. But...you haven't yet. It's like the nanites the government gave us are keeping you together. That's why it hurts, I guess.

That can't be it! It's gotta be different - or there's gotta be something - ...

[His back hits the wall next, and slides down slowly until he's ended up sitting on the floor. If Kaneda's right, and ... there's too many reasons why Kaneda COULD be right... then there's nothing he can do about it at all. It's 'what happens'.

That'd mean all his life ahead of him is as a tortured freak... and he can't accept that future. He just can't!]

I refuse!

There's gotta be.

[He thinks, running his fingers through his head.]

I mean...if this world's got a way to keep you together, there's gotta be something that stops the side effects.

It is different.

[And that's the part he smiles at.]

It's different cause the Porter gave you these powers, Tetsuo. They just match the ones back home.

... So? They match!

[He's not following here.]

No, don't you get it? The nanites are what give you the power...

So if we find a way to alter the ones in you so they---I don't know. Stabilize....

You think we could-?!

....

[Desperate hope flares bright, but fades just as quickly. His face freezes as it hits him. What do either of them know about nanites? Tetsuo barely understands the 'small machines in your blood' bit, let alone how that lets them do anything;it's unlikely Kaneda knows more. Nanites are an unsolvable mystery as humiliating and frustrating as the brand on his wrist. Neither will ever go away. Both brand him forever as too many things he hates...

He shoves that wrist back against the wall. To mess with nanites, they'd need someone who could. And someone who could...

...

Tetsuo looks back down again, fighting down a growing uneasy feeling. Memories of another, plainer room. White sheets, white curtains, white-clad strangers with neither answers or compassion...]

Look...

I've been screwed up enough already. [It was hard to get worse than 'dying'... but he was certain they could find a way.] So you better not make it any worse...

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